he stormed down the stairs, careful

to pound his heel into the floorboards

upon pounding on the door, he left 

a gapping memory wide and fist-shaped

shouting how he hated me so

but he didn’t need to, i already knew 

i was an end of bread loaf, untouched

unwanted

if i died would it really matter

i belong in the depths of the ocean

or vastness of the universe

not here, not now, not with you

i know you hate me

just let me die in peace

let me die alone

the thick kerosene running through my veins

oh bruise why must you linger

upon my skin from this heart

just go away,

just go away

sometimes i wake outside of realms

into peach trees, lemongrass

and monopoly money

these canned peaches taste wrong

maybe i will die

maybe i will die

i see his face plastered onto telephone poles, metal surfaces

society’s definition of male, he is missing

and i lose hope for humanity once more

we have drifted now

rotting driftwood in the sea

this current unknown

Parentheses

are not accepted as civil, much

the way an American student doesn’t belong in Paris their

raw accents thick against foreign air

it sticks as if peanut butter on the

cave of a mouth, it belongs

kissing, imprinting,   longing   to stay.

i am 

becoming something i have

always feared but it’s okay

life is poison 

anyways.

Your laugh burns into my skin,

the way tangerines burn into the air

upon first peel, their flesh bare and 

mine.